12 to 24 Word Narratives.

The children have been writing 12 word narratives. Then they are adding more descriptive words to make their writing 'richer' and turn it into a 24 word narrative.

12 words  -The ducks ate my candyfloss, so I shot them, but I missed.
24 words - My candyfloss was really yummy. I was looking at the ducks and they started eating my candyfloss, so I shot them, but I missed. By Lachlan F.

12 words - The princess was captured by the witch, so the knight saved her.
24 words - The beautiful princess in the pink dress was captured by the evil witch, with a wart on her nose. The knight saved her. By Sheani S.

12 words - An elephant escaped from the zoo, so the zoo keeper caught it.
24 words - An elephant called Elly escaped from Auckland Zoo, so Bob the zoo keeper led her quietly to a special enclosure and fed her. By Josephine S.

12 words- Fred was not popular. He made a video. Now he is popular.
24 words- Fred was not popular and everyone bullied him. One day he made an awesome video, then put it on You Tube. Now he's popular. By Isabel P.

12 words- The batteries on Sue's brand new iPad  died, so she charged it.
24 words- Sue was using her brand new black iPad, but the batteries ran out of power. She plugged it in and played an awesome game. By Hae Soo L.

12 words- Jake was drowning, so the lifeguard quickly jumped in and rescued him.
24 words- Jake was drowning, about to die, so the fat lifeguard quickly jumped in and saved him very well because he was a good swimmer. By Levi G.